My Bucket List

• 1. Bunjee jump
• 2. Learn to play an instrument well
• 3. Skydive
• 4. Do something heroic
• 5. Get published in the news* Referee
• 6. Gloss a magazine cover* Sabrina’s hairstyling project
• 7. Promote a cause and see the difference
• 8. Star in a production* Ella
• 9. Build my own house
• 10. Make a stand
• 11. Stand out* I am the sore thumb
• 12. Wear a designer dress I was asked to
• 13. Start a revolution
• 14. Live a different life
• 15. Go to Disney world
• 16. See myself in theatres
• 17. Wear guy’s cologne
• 18. Learn a form of self-defense
• 19. Go on a cross-country road trip
• 20. Move to the U.S.
• 21. Live in Ireland
• 22. See a miracle happen
• 23. Climb the Eiffel tower’s stairs
• 24. Ride a bull
• 25. Own a ranch
• 26. Have a thriving garden
• 27. Paint a ceiling a colour
• 28. Have landscape art as wallpaper
• 29. Own a slurpee machine
• 30. Learn to drive standard
• 31. Be a Godparent
• 32. Be a mom
• 33. Win a fight
• 34. Watch a caterpillar transform
• 35. Hang glide
• 36. Hang glowing orbs from a willow tree
• 37. Catch a firefly
• 38. Design a t-shirt
• 39. Buy my parents vacation homes
• 40. Appear in a music video
• 41. Bury my money
• 42. Own and train an Irish Wolfhound
• 43. Shelter someone
• 44. Witness magic
• 45. Swim in the stars
• 46. Be called ‘drop dead gorgeous’
• 47. Be a leftie
• 48. Host a dinner party
• 49. Introduce a future couple* Cody and Miriam
• 50. Take my sister to the Kentucky Derby
• 51. Acquire an heirloom* Ring from Grosz-mama
• 52. Build a tree house
• 53. Play ‘hide and seek’ in a sunflower field
• 54. Be best friends with a guy *Cody
• 55. Live with my best friend* Mira
• 56. Own a rocking chair
• 57. Walk in six-inch heels* Was not fun
• 58. See my mom get her life back
• 59. Ride in a hot air balloon* With Grosz-mama
• 60. Watch my friends succeed
• 61. Have a collection* Ships
• 62. Have a hobby* Drawing and writing and crafting
• 63. Be able to sing
• 64. Travel by myself
• 65. Have a cabin
• 66. Have a secret room

Now What

Everything on my list might change with time. For now I would like to look out for the simple things, like ‘swim in the stars’, ‘catch a firefly’, ‘watch a caterpillar transform’. The bigger things like ‘appear in a music video’ are fun but not oh-so-important. I think the ones I’ll really work for are the things associated with acting. So ‘live a different life’, ‘appear in a music video’, ‘wear a designer dress I was asked to’, etc. are the things I am currently indirectly working towards. Some other miscellaneous things like ‘be a leftie’, or ‘date a foreigner’ will happen on the way without any planning. Okay, maybe the leftie one will require some effort. I don’t think I’ll get everything on my bucket list accomplished but that is not what I want anyway. I won’t be able to do everything I want to in my entire life anyway, I just want to live it. As well as I can. Other goals as in ‘be a mom’, and ‘give grosz-mama her first grand-baby’ are things I would love to have happen, but I am not sure will since they are based on what is expected of me. Right now, at least, I have no interest in getting those things done, haha. However, opportunities to accomplish ‘skydive’ and ‘bunjee jump’ are things I will definitely be on the lookout for. I think I will ask Tina to help me accomplish the ‘watch a caterpillar transform’ since it’s that time of year.

Author’s Note

Growing up I’ve had many bucket lists. About two, to be exact. As time has passed I’ve redone them with things taken away, and things added. Some things I’ve crossed off like fly on a plane, driver’s license, or do a bubble wrap dance. Some things I’ve taken away, like get married. Coming up with fifty things was challenging for me, I rather let things happen instead of being aware of all the things I have yet to accomplish. I can see the pros to it, though. Now I know exactly what I might want and I know that instead of just letting things happen I can make them happen, because now I know what I want. I think that people don’t need a bucket list to make sure they die happy. I think they only need not be afraid of life. We only have a few short years on this planet, and everyone is caught up in bills and careers but there is so much more than getting a family and being able to support them. Take your time before you tie yourself down and then when you do make sure to keep living your life as well. Don’t forget about yourself. Society’s values are fine, but I think people have to remember to think for themselves, to remember that they can make their own values as well, and that they are just as right. Remember to live your life and live it well according to you.

Personal Addition #32

I recently ordered a favourite childhood book from Chapters. One of my favourite smells is the the smell when you walk into a bookstore, especially one filled with new books. For last christmas and my seventeenth birthday I got bookstore gift cards because I had always loved books growing up and that’s what I got every year then, so why not now, too? However I went through about two years where I wasn’t interested in books very much at all. But now I’m back! I feel as I have reconnected with an old piece of myself that I forgot about but has remained true throughout all the changes I’ve been experiencing. Although I can keep up with Clive Cussler and Dan Brown with the best of them, my love remains with stories directed towards teens and preteens. Easy stories, but stock-full of imagination and magic. I won’t be sorry for it.

Personal Addition #31

I skip a lot. I think online classes might have been a better choice for me. Or living closer to the school. Or later classes. Really, I think this year and the mistakes I have made are learning opportunities. But I said that last year, too. So I don’t know.

Personal Addition #30

We as friends are all being separated but I couldn’t be more calm about it. Not many people I know are going to the U of M but I am excited about the ones that are: Shayla, Chris.. Some I am glad are going to the U of W, I need some space from them. I am looking forward to the change that university offers.

Personal Addition #29

I trusted a friend of a friend who is a tailor with my grad dress to fix a few things. After a couple of weeks I found out she hadn’t bothered to tailor my dress at all. My friend who recommended her offered to take responsibility and to take it to a shop and pay for it but I am tired of things being out of my control. I just want it back. I regret buying a grad dress at all, I just wish I didn’t have to go to convocation at all but my family would murder me if I didn’t. I am also going because even though I don’t necessarily want to do it now, I might regret it later. So as a net, I am going, but I won’t like it.

Personal Addition #28

My aunt has invited me over to dinner to talk about the finer details of me moving in them. When I was in grade eleven, both my aunts offered to let me move in with them, and I chose Aunt Karen because she is five minutes from my University, the U of M. They are hopefully going to reconstruct the basement for my use and have very few rules. Whoo.

Personal Addition #27

Do these even get read? Are these even for marks? In that case, a relationship with a once close friend has completely fallen apart and I find myself confused and sad. At the beginning, I thought it was made to be. We had unusual things in common, we were on the same level intellectually, blah blah blah. But as it progressed they drew farther and farther away from me as I grew closer to them. Eventually we confronted the fact that we wanted different kinds of friendships. Because of the trials and emotional ups and downs with this person, I have grown, and while it is true that I have to work on faults of mine I also realized that I am worth much more than I used to allow myself to be. I found that I wanted to deserve better than what I was being given, and that it is okay to be the way I am. Just because one person is not agreeable does not mean that I am totally in the wrong. I am grateful to this person for indirectly making me realize these things and I am terribly sad that we are not as close as we were, but another lesson I am currently learning is that it is okay for two people to grow apart, and that there needs to come a time where I let go of them. So, goodbye.

Personal Addition #26

A friend of mine had a birthday yesterday, and I did go a little overboard in celebrating it. My mistake was celebrating his birthday they way I wanted, not the way he wanted. It took me a while to accept that what I wanted wasn’t better just because I thought it was a little more festive than the way he would want. However, he did seem to be incredibly happy with what I did, so what does that say? I’m stuck between being true to myself and putting others before me. Where is the fine line?